sleepless

okay so... my sister definitely killed me today (oh well... yesterday technically...) when she told me that my brother-in-law is leaving for Spain on Monday... guess who'll need to move to my sister's to stay with the kid while she's at work... X(X(
and there are a number of reasons why I don't like staying there, but I don't really wanna get into it right now... plus, I haven't even decided that I'd actually move there for a month (though it would be good to be away from my bro, cause last week was like heaven when he was at the seaside - now he's in the mountains)


changing the subject now...

after the... shock... that I experienced while I was skimming through babyface's photos on asianfanatics and saw his new look, now I checked youtube, searching for the songs on his new album (oh yeah! happy birthday, by the way! :P) and saw the video and my first reaction was staring at the monitor and thinking "somehow... he doesn't look that bad..." (and I know I had the same reaction when another Asian guy changed his look, and I can't remember who it was and it's bugging me and I hate that... X(X(X(X(X( that's it!!! you're never seeing babyface again!!!)

and this made me visualize a pose for a drawing that will, of course, never see the light of day... X(


and this makes me think of my laziness and procrastination, the drawings that are waiting to be made and the fanfics that are waiting to be updated, but complaining about it won't solve a damn thing... X(

I watched Jeff Dunham's Spark of Insanity again ^.^ and yesterday, I re-watched Arguing With Myself...
I just love that guy... he's the funniest man alive and I wish he'd release a new DVD... *sigh*


and yes... it's 4 am and I'm updating my blog.... X(



p.s.: I just watched the video for the 2nd time... rather than Right Round, the song reminds me a tiny bit of Womanizer... it's still hot though ^.^ and the platinum blond hair (along with the black eyeliner) does give him a vampire feel... which I like! and that's coming from me, the girl who pretty much dislikes (to put it gently...) vampires and anything vampire-related at the moment!

heartbroken

... I feel so useless ...

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!

and no, I don't mean someone in particular...

at this very moment, I feel so mad and angry and frustrated and the thing I would love most to do right now is scream in a pillow as loud as I can, but unfortunately, it's 1:30 am so I'll have to refrain myself... >.<

I hate the itchy sensation all over my body.
I hate the stupid fly that won't leave me alone!! (there were 2 of them, but I "murderized" one of them...)

I hate this stinkin' town.
I hate this stupid country, with its stupid and selfish, self-centered, greedy, sleezy, stupid, dumb-ass, stinkin', pitiful etc. leaders!!

I hate my headphones (but they're still better than nothing).
I hate that I can't finish what I start.
I hate that I can't draw better.
I hate that I'm lazy.
I hate that I'm 21 and feel like I've wasted my life.
I hate Hongki, especially with that stupid hairstyle (like wtf?!) (kill me Jell, I don't care... just remember that your life would be even more boring without me)

I love that I just killed that stinkin' fly.



only good things among all of this shit: I can put my heart at ease knowing that DBSK have no intention of disbanding.

I'm totally fangirling over Big Bang these days, which gives me a multitude of ways to piss off Jelly, and pissing off Jelly is so damn revitalizing!

oh yes.. I like 2ne1 as well ^.^

>.<

I should really think before I act/speak.

my instincts are good, but the first impulse is not... thinking before acting/speaking can save me a lot of trouble and future regrets...

then again... I always think too much...

but sleep is always a good adviser...

To be or not to be... TVXQ

okay so... this is what I read last night:

http://www.allkpop.com/index.php/full_story/round_1_tvxq_vs_sm_entertainment._tvxq_is_really_breaking_up/

http://www.allkpop.com/index.php/full_story/tvxq_united_against_sm/

if this is all true (though I have no reason to believe it's not), and they lose against SM, if they're really gonna leave the group because of that, I'm sorry but they're not who I thought they were. they really are underpaid under-appreciated by SM (this reminds me of JE... >.<), but to leave the group because of that? whatever happened to "we love our fans" and "we love our job"? you can't just throw away all these years of hard work and success.

anyways... there's a lot of ifs...

and I'm pretty sure they'll win against SM, cause they're so damn right... that is... unless SM realizes what a gold mine they really are and what losing them would mean to their profits...

if, God forbid, they lose, I hope they remain a group and sign with another record company, cause I'm sure there are a lot of them out there who would give them the world for working under their label, cause they effing deserve it!!!

whatever happens, I'll still love them! ^.^ it's pretty impossible not to... I've got them under my skin! *smug* though I was pretty depressed last night, today I can walk around smiling and praying for the best! ^.^